My husband use to tell me I was beautiful everyday. Somewhere along the line I stopped believing him. When ever he would give me a compliment I would correct him and tell him all the ways I was less than perfect. He would quickly defend my imperfections and cover them with love. After a half of decade of marriage I guess he got tired of being called a liar and felt like his opinion didn’t matter. After a few years of the back and forth he gave up and stopped complimenting me. It didn’t matter if I was in my pajamas or dolled up date ready he gave me the same reaction, nothing. This only made my insecurities worse.
I tried drastic make overs and going for weeks looking homely then randomly looking my best. In total outrage I got exhausted and I gave up to. It wasn’t that I needed his approval to feel good about myself, we as women all have things we would like to change. What scared me was what his lack of attention meant for the condition of our marriage. Than I was reading a blog as I often do and she said something that finally got through to me. It flipped the switch, turned on the lights, finally clicked. I knew why my husband had stopped complimenting me.
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My husband stopped complimenting me because I didn’t believe him. It really is that simple. Think about it. If you cook a wonderful meal for someone and they tell you how amazing it taste but you say no its terrible. Would you continue to compliment the food or just quietly eat?
I began to really think about the possibility that when my husband says to me “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” That he really means it.
The Compliment Experiment
After waiting for some time my husband randomly looked over at me and said “You look pretty.” He quickly looked away as if to end the moment right there.
I responded like I never had before. “Thank you. I believe you.” I didn’t explain what I had read or that there was a major revelation in the brain of Cher. Sometimes the less you say the more it means.
He smiled out of the corner of his mouth trying to conceal the joy that had brought to him. In the days to come he continued to compliment me in new and adorable ways. Each time he would say something sweet I would accept it even return the gesture. In the months to come my husband began to build from small compliments to flirting!
I had been trying to reach societies standards of beauty but I always fell short. When I became satisfied with exceeding my husbands standards of beauty my marriage changed!
“Change your outlook not your look because you
are beautiful!” -Cher B.
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