Marriage is for people who will love their enemy. Throughout your lifetime, your spouse will be both your best friend and at times, your enemy. However, if you love your spouse during times of peace and ‘war,’ then you will have victory in your marriage.
Love is a verb that requires action. When the word love is used to describe how we feel then it is being used incorrectly. The word love is not an adjective of temporary affection. I say temporary because you are not going to feel the same way all the time. Life is in a constant state of change. Love is in action, not something you feel.
Don’t miss understand me; loving someone will cause you to feel. It is impossible to put so much time and energy into anything and not care. Loving someone will challenge you to feel a hundred different shades of grey while still acting with kindness. In a sense, choosing to love others makes us better people because at some point it requires sacrifice.
In four years of marriage I have not always felt “lovingly” toward my husband. When you live with someone every day of your life you are going to occasionally fight, disagree, and experience that person in their imperfect state. Marriage is also more than love; it is a shared responsibility, life style, standards and vision. When two people come together responsibility multiplies, life styles evolve, standards differ and visions change and sometimes you are not going to agree but you still have to live together. Sometimes your home will be the battlegrounds for life-changing-life-altering-decision- making and the war is going to be between you and your best friend.
Society today is failing young couples with the lame advice of “Marriage is hard work.”
Marriage is not for the lucky who get to live a fairy tale. Marriage is for the merciful and the forgiving. Divorce rates are at an all-time high with 50% of marriages ending in divorce and 80% if you are a Navy couple. Most people claim it is because they fell out of love with their partner; so they simply choose to get a divorce. However, since love is a verb and requires action then how can one fall in and out of love? Now, I recognize that it can be hard to continue showing love to someone who doesn’t receive or reciprocate. Yet, I always say:
“Learning to show love when you don’t feel like it is what makes your heart grow. ” -Cher B.
We say marriage is hard work but we don’t talk about what type of work it is.
Love is not always pretty, comfortable, or easy. When you think of love you don’t think of selfishness because it is self/less. In order to care for someone you have to think less of yourself and more about the needs of others.
If you want to protect your marriage and create a bond that can’t be broken than the next time you’re angry with your spouse/partner, you need to guard your words and be gentle. When you feel you are right you might have to swallow your pride. You need to be humble enough to let someone teach you something you already know. Anyone who has been married for any length of time can tell you it is the little things that are the most important and don’t we all want to be heard and valued?
“The big picture is only as clear as each brush stroke.” – Cher B.
Marriage is hard work and so is loving your spouse. Remember, anything worth having is hard to get and hard to keep. So put the same effort in keeping the relationship protected as you did in creating the relationship when you first started dating.
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