Hello there Sticky Apron readers!!!
My name is Candace Larson, a.k.a. Sassy Scuttlebutt. I am 39 and holding with two beautiful teenage children and a supportive husband of 21 years. My life is crazy, fun and full of shenanigans. I’m beyond excited to have the opportunity to guest blog for the site today!!
It was a hot summer day full of house cleaning and the dreaded chore of laundry. As Patsy Cline blared in the background I heard a faint knock at the door where I discovered an older gentleman with a clip board in his hand.
“Ugh…a salesman has once again ignored my no soliciting sign” I sneered to myself. I reluctantly opened the door and greeted him in the best fashion possible.
“Good afternoon, how can I help you?” I mustered.
“Hello, can I talk to your parents?”
“Wait….what?!” I thought to myself. “Seriously do I look that young?!!”
Now, I would normally take this as a compliment but this was the third solicitor this week that has ignored my no soliciting sign and frankly, it is QUITE irritating!
So I decided to have a little fun and allow the devious part of me to surface and responded with “I’m sure you could.”
He inquisitively replied “Are they home?”
Without skipping a beat with a Cheshire cat smile I said “I’m not sure, I haven’t checked in today.”
Oh the confusion that washed over his face was turning this dreaded conversation into the highlight of my day!
After a moment of deep thought he asked “So they aren’t here?”
“Not normally.” I answered.
“Well when will they be home?!!” he demanded.
“Who’s to say they’re not home now?” I spouted back with a gleam of satisfaction in my eyes.
Now, his previous inquisitive look rapidly turned into a look of exasperation with a dash of bitterness or maybe it was flat out anger? Either way, I knew I was winning this famous game of ‘Who’s on First!’
After a second of gaining his composure he stated “Okay I will come back another time.”
As he started to walk away I erupted into a fit of giggles and loudly announced as I slowly began closing the door “Suit yourself but they won’t be here!”
He suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder with steam rolling out of both sides of his head.
I returned the glance with a wink and my best Vanna White wave as I pointed out the ‘No Soliciting Sign’ and continued to shut the door and began to laugh myself skinny!
“And that is how the anchor dropped”
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